I will not be afraid

"I will not be afraid, I will not be afraid of the darkness. I will not be afraid, I am resting in You."

Restore the Joy

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to You (Psalm 51:12-13).

At some point in the last couple of months, I lost my joy. It was a very hard discovery for me. I have spent a lot of time reflecting how it happened. I have been to 2 Women's Retreats, read countless devotionals,gone to bible studies, done bible studies on my own, prayed and prayed and prayed and no joy. My heart has been so hardened and I couldn't figure it out. I have come to the point in my spiritual journey where I have just enough Jesus to be miserable. Have you been there? I have seen the other side, so to speak, where the abundance is and my heart aches for it. Now with Christmas around the corner, it occurred to me that I spend a lot of time pointing other people to Christ but am I there at His feet in gratitude for everything He has given me or do I take it for granted? Do I take for granted what He suffered for my sake, that I don't for one minute deserve a fraction of the grace I have been shown not only by Him but by wonderful people in my life? Do I show that grace to anyone? I just know that regardless of anything my redeemer lives and so although, I may not hear His voice clearly right now, it is to me to persevere and keep listening. I will praise Him regardless of how I feel.

Encounters

I just have to tell this story. I was sitting in the karate studio waiting for Abigail to finish her lesson and there were 2 sweet little boys waiting for their mom who was taking pictures for the instructor. I was mainly trying to keep them out of trouble but I started talking to one of them and he asked "Do you celebrate Halloween?" to which I replied "Yes, I celebrate Halloween" , he then asked "Do you have God in your heart?" and I replied "yes, I have God in my heart." He told me that God doesn't celebrate Halloween. I then told him that we celebrate Halloween at our house to help reach people who don't have God in their hearts and it was like a light bulb went off in him. (So, I apologize to that mom.) I then asked him if he had God in his heart. He said "yes" so I said to him "Well, that means you are accountable to God for your actions and that one of God's rules for us is to obey our mommies and daddies." I don't think anyone had explained it that way before and he was very well behaved the rest of the time I was there.

God knows exactly what you need and when you need it and sometimes it takes a sweet little boy to remind you of "God in your heart".